B*tching, Just can't help it anymore

I don't know where to begin. I'm awful uncomfortable. I have hit another weight "milestone" and it sucks. I feel like such a fat cow it's terrible. Since I've gone on bed rest on the 27th of Sept I have started swelling so much. It shows everywhere. I have cankles now...and wiener toes as I like to call them since they look like cocktail wieners. My face is puffy and so are my eyes most of the time. The fake wedding set I have (I bought it when mine no longer fit) is too small most days and it's 2 sizes bigger than my real wedding set. My back is in a constant knot, my belly is sagging now with the weight of the girls, and two placentas and fluid in there. Total the babies now weigh over 8lbs. My belly is stretched so tight that the itching is almost unbearable and no amount of lotion helps. Also, the dreaded stretch marks are making their appearance...UGGG. Hopefully they will fade to almost nothing after I get back to my normal weight, which I WILL do!! ;) My medicine is still giving me ADD and the shakes.
Ok -- I think I'm done b*tching.
Now on to my doctor appointments yesterday and today. Yesterday I left my appointment feeling good. The doctor was encouraging and optimistic. She obviously didn't give me any guarantees but basically said that as long as I follow the rules of bed rest and take my medicine, stay hydrated, and be aware of my body for early early early signs of impending labor...that she doesn't see any reason as of now that I wouldn't be able to carry these kiddos to at least 34 weeks if not 36/37 weeks. That made me feel so good. Now on to today's NST and dr appt...The NST went really well. The babies were cooperative and I only had to sit there for 40 minutes with the three monitors on my belly. The babies looked AWESOME. I am so thankful for that. I will have NST's every Wednesday now until I deliver. Then I went to see the doctor for her to review the NST with me. Now, don't get me wrong, I like this doctor. She is very nice and always answers my questions. And she is compassionate which is more than I can say for some of the other doctors at this practice, well -- one in particular. However, she totally and completely burst my optimistic bubble today. I don't want anyone lying to me about the status of the babies and of me and my body holding up but geez. Today she said with me being dilated to 1-2cm and having a very short/soft cervix that she said I would be lucky to make it to 33/34 weeks judging by my history. I almost started crying right then but didn't. She went on to say that in the week between my hospital admissions, the changes I had to my cervix were 'dramatic' enough to point to me having no more than a month left before my body gives in. A month from the first time I was in the hospital is 2 days before I hit 34 weeks.
I'm trying to stay positive. I'm trying to prepare for the babies to come. It's just hard. I don't want them to spend time in the NICU. I don't want them to struggle. I don't want to leave my two tiny girls alone in the hospital and go home. The only good things are that I have the steroids on board and that girls lungs tend to mature faster than boys lungs. I've been praying more than I have ever done in my life...if you're the praying type, please pray that I can hang on to these kids for another 4 weeks which would take us to 35 weeks.