Fears

I have struggled with fear about my babies since I found that I was pregnant with Grace, and especially after our health scare with her at 20 weeks. It's not different the 3rd time around. I have had cramps with each of my pregnancies early on and it is a constant reminder of a miscarriage. I am having them now and that's what is making me think about this. It's so scary. I just fear my child being born with Down Syndrome or Autism or something worse. I worry mainly that I wouldn't be able to handle it. That I wouldn't be a good parent to that child, that I couldn't provide the things that they needed to be the best person they could be. I know that every parent wishes and prays for a healthy child, so I know that i'm not alone. I try to not let it ruin my pregnancy. I can't wait to feel the first flutter with this baby. I'm trying to convince Matt to not find out the sex of this baby this time since this is our last child, I want to be surprised! We're already talking about names. I think we have our boy name picked out. We've had it chosen for some time now, ever since we started trying to get pregnant with this baby. The girl name is the one that we're struggling with. We have time! ;)