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I've been researching twin pregnancy and delivery and decisions we may have to make. I've come across many pictures of women pregnant with twins. I now have already called to make my appointment for my tummy tuck. Holy &#*$!!! I'm going to look like a train wreck when i'm done with this pregnancy. To say that i'm not a little upset and depressed about it would be a lie. I know that it's not about how I look but that I have 2 great healthy little babies....but it's just hard. I feel like i've faired ok with my other 2 pregnancies, only carrying over less than 10 lbs total. Sure, my body shape has changed but I knew that would happen. I feel like there's almost no hope of escaping this pregnancy without stretch marks, which I was happy to pretty much escape during my first 2 pregnancies. I know, I should just be happy that i'm pregnant and feel blessed that we're having twins...it's just me being selfish, that's all. Don't flame me for it. It's just what was on my mind this morning. It didn't help that a Baby Story was on with a woman the size of a 747 pregnant with twins that got me thinking about it even more. lol

Wiped

I'm tired. Just plain exhausted. All the time. I'm getting so frustrated with it. I have been napping every day when the kids nap, which is helpful for my body and the babies, but my house is just a disaster. We may be having company this weekend and I don't even know where to start. There are toys everywhere, clothes in piles in bedrooms, piles of laundry waiting to be done. I have to scrub the floors and dust really well. I just am too lazy. I can't wait until this part of the pregnancy is over! I want some energy back!

Oh Baby....

Matt took this picture of me yesterday at 9 weeks. And to think that i've actually lost weight...wow, i'm going to be HUGE! Not much else to report, i'm 'starting' to feel a little better now. I'm not as sick, I've actually been keeping whole meals down. Hopefully this is the beginning of the end to this whole-day sickness thing.

Bummer dr appt

I had my dr appt today and i'm so bummed. We had to meet with the CNS for an hour before we got to see the midwife. We did this same thing with the other two pregnancies. It was a little different this time since she was talking a little bit more about a twin pregnancy and the differences I will experience. Some of the "uplifting" news I got...I need to gain 24 lbs by week 24 (End of July), they say that a strong weight gain during the first 24 weeks helps to bring up twin birth weights. Here's to pigging out on healthy stuff as soon as this darn nausea goes away! Also the issues that women have with a singleton pregnancy at 9 months, I will get to experience starting around 5-6 months! I should expect to be as big as I was when I delivered Evan somewhere in July/August! Holy Moly i'm gonna be HUGE! My total weight gain should be around 50-60 lbs. I'm going to look like a freaking oompa-loompa! Here's to thinking about a New Years resolution to lose weight....Matt might need to buy me a gym membership for Christmas!! I'm worried about gaining all that weight but I will do it if it means having healthy babies! My goal is to have 2 6lb babies vaginally! We talked about the chances of having a vaginal delivery and they said with my history of bigger babies, I have about a 70% chance! I was happy to hear that. They said that if one baby is head down and the other is either head down or breech, that they will try to deliver me vaginally. There are dr's there that specialize in breech deliveries so it's up to me! I have a lot of time to think about that. My concern would be that I would deliver one vaginally and then the other wouldn't come out and would have to recover from BOTH a c-section AND a vaginal delivery! No thanks! I'm considering having someone other than Matt in the delivery room if I go vaginally to help out, it's going to seem like chaos and I want someone there to help take pictures and help me push the second one out if Matt needs to be with the first one! Again, lots of time to think about that. Now on to the bummer part of the appointment. They talked a lot about things that i'm going to need to do during the pregnancy, like sooo many more appointments, and different ultrasounds and NST's and perinatologist appointments and things...so that made me think that I would be back in soon to hear the babies heartbeats...NO! I have to wait until the 22nd! I'm so bummed. I just want to hear their hearbeats and make sure everyone is ok in there! The midwife said that this is the last time that there will be that much space between appointments and that in a few months I will be wishing that I didn't have to go every week! I know that is true, it's just hard since I can't feel the babies moving yet and have no way to gauge that they are ok. kwim ? Ok, I better go now....We're going to my Mom's for dinner and to just get the kids out of the house. I will probably be posting more later in my other blog about our car issues....Uggg...Minivan here we come. *notice the reluctance in my voice*.......

8 weeks

I'm 8 weeks preggo today. I have a dr appointment on Wed that i'm not really looking forward to since it's just with the regular ob and not with my peri. I can't wait for another ultrasound. I want to see the two little beans again. And now they should look a little more like babies and a little less blob-like!

I've been having a lot of cramping these last two days. I think that it's just stetching and pulling more than anything, at least that's what I keep telling myself. Nothing much else to report except that i'm already looking exceptionally plump! Grrreat.....You're "required" to gain more weight with twins.....I'm not looking forward to what i'm going to look like....Matt may need to start working some OT to pay for my tummy tuck and boob job! lol

research and scary facts

I have been trying to avoid the internet and horror stories about twin pregnancies but they found me. I was just trying to look up a 'timeline' for a twin pregnancy, the big milestone dates and things. You get your big ultrasound with one child at 20 weeks, when do you get your level 2 with a twin pregnancy? Just that type of thing and I kept getting my answers all wrapped up in horrible statistics and things. Now i'm more scared than ever. I'm a little miffed at my dr's office since I have been trying to get my first ob appointment out of the way so that I can get my first appointment at MFM a little quicker, but nope. I have my first appointment on the 30th. I think that my dr's office has changed a lot since I started going there with Grace. There are more and more dr's and more patients and the waits are a lot longer. They just seem to be getting bigger and bigger and i'm starting to feel like more of just a number....I wonder how MFM will be?! I'm trying trying trying to relax about this pregnancy but ever since our nightmare with Grace's pregnancy I just can't. I guess it's something no one will ever understand until they go through it. And I hope that no one ever does.
That's all for now. Not much new to report......I can't wait until I have more pictures to post of these two little beans.....

thinking and scared

I'm just so scared about these babies. My dr told me yesterday after reviewing my history that I will need to probably prepare myself for bedrest starting around 20-26 weeks. That's so scary. I know that it would be best for the babies but it's just going to be so hard. The one good thing she said is that I have big babies so that works in my favor. I had both Grace and Ev at 38 weeks and they were 8lb3oz and 8lb13oz. I am so scared to have my babies in the NICU. I try to not think about it too much but it's just so hard not to. I guess I have to pull myself out of bed now even though I really could just sleep all day. I honestly think that if I was pregnant with twins as my first pregnancy, that we wouldn't have any more children. I'm only 7 weeks and it's been pretty rough. HOWEVER....I do feel blessed and incredibly lucky to be given this gift!